Our girls arrived

August 6, 2018

Our girls arrived yesterday in the evening from Pokot. It is always a joy to see them. They were tired after the long journey, so they had dinner and retired for the night.

This morning we had breakfast together and had a good time catching up. They are all happy to start their second year of college; they will be done by April 2019. They have been busy at school and they have gathered quite a wealth of experience over the time they have been teaching.

Our most interesting conversation was about FGM and marriage. It was with absolute horror for us to hear that the girls are under pressure to get cut and get married. They are all 21 and 22 years respectfully and, in their culture, over-ripe for marriage. They all narrated stories of their parents asking them to get married, so that they can get some camels, cows and goats. Basically, by not getting cut and, thereafter, married, they are denying the parents much needed wealth. They are not allowed to marry from outside their community, and no Pokot man will marry them unless they are cut. They told me how they get snide remarks aimed at them because they are uncut, with some old women advising them to avail themselves at the next circumcision ceremony to get cut. Thank God for their education. The girls know they don’t need to get cut to make good wives and getting married to a Pokot man is not the only available option. The girls have come too far to get pulled back by their backward culture. In their own words they said a Pokot man, no matter how well schooled he is, will always behave like a guerilla, very war like, with no regard for the woman and will have as many women as possible. He will have no concern for the children he sires and expect the wife to fend for them, and to get the girls ready for marriage as soon as possible. We were dumbstruck listening to their stories and hearing repeatedly about the immense pain and abuse their mothers have endured over the years. They spoke with so much openness; I have never heard them speak like this before….

Their hope is that when they finish college they will be posted to schools outside of Pokot, so they can get away, meet people from other communities and hopefully, get married away from Pokot. Their parents will disapprove of any union with an outsider, but with time they will get used to it and move on. We spoke at length, and were so relieved to hear that they know their worth, and they are ready to do whatever it takes to change their story. Nothing good comes from the cut, and they are ready to emulate other women who have run away from their community and now have success stories to tell. They want to change the narrative. They feel sorry for the other girls that fell pregnant, they say they are suffering back home.  Most are wishing they could come back to school. The men who got them pregnant have nothing to offer, most are drunkards or very young.

We could have gone on and on with the stories; they have a lot to tell, but we are very grateful they are all well and strong, and eager to continue with school.

 

 

 

 

 

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