The Right Kind of Women

February 2019

THE LIE. Society will give you a list of attributes that make up a ‘real’ woman and then tell you that is what every man wants, and what every woman needs to be. A real woman today smiles regardless of what she is feeling, and we all know smiling is the only way to be pretty, don’t we? Really? Who dictates what the standard of beauty should be?

The concept of there being an imaginary box that all women should fit, of womanhood being quantifiable, isn’t new. The funny thing is that it’s not even the woman who decides for herself what the measure of womanhood should be. It is the people around her who have assigned themselves that role, many of them people who have no experience at being a woman. A girl can be a flight attendant but not a pilot, that is just how it is; after all, there are limitations to what a girl can do, isn’t that so? Society has created one mental image of things that a woman should be, and strive to be at all costs, especially at grave cost to herself. We are raising our daughters to aspire to only certain things. To hold their beauty as their greatest virtue. To keep quiet about their feelings. Not to openly show affection or be forward about their desires like men.

THE TRUTH is that life is full of options and that all people, male and female, are created with varying talents, and gifts, and looks. The truth is that none of us were made to fit inside a box of any kind, especially a box determined by a group of strangers lacking interest in our hearts, our feelings, and with no awareness of our potentials and capabilities. Social standards are assigned to us by a group of strangers making up false norms that no one can ever really grow or shrink to fit inside.

Life always gives us CHOICES. It is up to each one of us to learn to question things. It is up to us to stand against the mentality that: ‘that’s just the way it is’ and to respectfully, seek an answer that makes sense to us. It is up to each one of us to ask questions. While at it, the risk exists of being branded a social deviant. The fear of that tag, however, is in no way worth the efforts of trying to squeezing inside a box of someone else’s making.

The idea of there being a right kind of woman is both unfair and false. The truth is that any individual who has been assigned the female gender is a real woman.

This is the first lie we are discussing at Shiners School as part of the book club. The girls are enjoying the book and discussing the issues that are raised; they concur that some of the things mentioned have been said to them. Some almost abandoned their dreams because of some of these lies; they believed that they were not good enough.  Now they have been enlightened.

Valvisions Scholars Update

We spoke with one of our Scholars, she was being assessed and after the teaching practice assessment, will be given her report. She says her son is growing well and is already walking. Another Scholar should be coming soon to meet the school administration at Thogoto College, so she can resume her classes in April when college resumes.

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