Sharing Experiences

October 7, 2019

Listening to the girls discuss the insights they’ve received in the last 9 months we’ve been together at the Choice Club, makes us feel proud that we are actually impacting the lives of the girls positively.

This week we are visiting the schools and encouraging the girls as they get ready to sit for their exams, some for the final time as Secondary School students. Girls go through a lot of challenges as they grow up and most of the time, they do not know what to do or who to talk to for support and advice. Though most of them have parents, it is not easy for them to open up about the challenges they face. The new girls in the school will speak of stress brought about by being in Secondary School for the first time. They feel totally lost because they are in a new environment and adjusting to life away from their parents and home. They are expected to be ‘strong,’ and as a result, they don’t feel they can show their emotions in the presence of the other students. Their parents tell them they are not the first to go to a boarding Secondary School, and that they will get used to it. They put on a strong face, but most admitted to crying in their beds at night. They face bullying from the older girls, their self-esteem is low, and they are under a lot of pressure to fit in with their peers. They said the Choice Club helped them to cope in their new environment. Many said they began to understand that each person has their own life to live, and as so, falling into peer pressure is akin to running down a dead-end path. They acknowledged they were learning more about taking care of their mental and physical health, so they can enjoy school and their daily lives.

Many of the Form 2 students are going through a crisis stage in their life. They have just graduated from Form 1 and feel that they are finally mature. Many tend to bully the new Form 1 students entering the school because they themselves were bullied. They are at a critical stage in that they are discovering who they are as a person. They are very cautious about their body image and spend a lot of time trying ‘to look good’ instead of studying. The Choice Club helped them realize they need to be supportive of their fellow students because any one of them could be going through a difficult time and bullying could push someone over the edge. The girls also learned that they are young and as much as they should stay healthy, being ‘so’ cautious of their image at this point in their lives, could keep them distracted from learning. So much attention on outward appearance could also cause them to get attracted to the wrong kind of attention, especially from men. Most of the girls confessed that their friends fell pregnant while in Form 2 because they are defiant. In most schools, the Form 2 class is notorious in that the girls fall pregnant and give both their parents and teachers a hard time. The club members vowed to change that reputation.

Form 3 and 4 students are mostly calm; both groups are looking forward to finishing Secondary School. Most of these girls admitted they made most of their mistakes while in Form 2 and at the beginning of the Form 3 class. They realize at this juncture that they don’t have time to make mistakes. Time is up for them, and they need to concentrate on passing their exams in Form 4. They are happy to have learned how to cope with many of the challenges they have faced and how to manage peer pressure. They are happy to have been given a forum where they can express themselves without feeling judged. They have learned to appreciate the value of hard work as well as the reality that nothing comes easy. They have been taught how to cope with their sexuality and how to make the right choices on that topic, as well as the need to avoid drug and substance abuse. The Choice Club additionally and strongly encourages its members to receive career guidance at the completion of Form 4.

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